Reality therapy

Last night, i just felt i couldn't stop complaining!!!
i spent some time complaining to God before dozing off.

Today, i decided to read up a little bit about Reality Theory.


Characteristics of Reality Therapy

Reality therapist do not listen very long to complaining, blaming, and criticizing because there are the most ineffective behaviors in our behavioral repertoire.

When clients point out correctly that this is unfair, the therapist may agree and say, "There is no guarantee that life is fair, You are the only person who can change. Complaining may feel good for a short time, but it is a completely ineffective behavior."

-Corey, Gerald (2005). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy. Brooks/Cole, Thomson Learning Inc.-


Did God just use a counseling book to speak to me?
Did He? Would He?

I'm suspecting God is using Reality Therapy on me! hehehe...
whatever it is, it made my day just to have the silly random thought!

=D

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ARG!

iwanttocomplainandyellandlettheworldentireknowthatcurrentlymylifeissuperdupercrazy!!!
iwanttocomplainandgrumbleandyellandjumparoundandtearpaperandthrowstressball!!!
iwantto...iwantto...butidonothavethetimetodoit. whencanihavetime?
idonothavetimetobepissedoffwhichmakemeverygrumpyandtired =(

currentlyoneofmytestpaperismissingandihavetonsofstufftodo
ohGod,ineedyourhelpdesperately.
mayatthistime,ilearnmoreaboutyou
mayatthistime,iwillspentmoretimewithyou
mayatthistime,ilearntowaitforyoupatientlywithhope :)

ohGod,iwonderhownextwekkwillbe?
worryisnouse,iwannatrustyou!
buthow?teachme
stilllovingYou

BAH!

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oh what a day!

i will survive today!

for the 1st time, i'm very glad that i didn't study much for test!
this morning paper have ONE question only which require much understanding and general knowledge. it would be a waste of my time to study for the test. with my merepek skills, i do i hope i do ok in it. oh no so salah la, didn't study much for test still hope to do well -.-" pls do not follow my example

now i'm suppose to prepare for my next test which is in 9 hours time. i have no mood to study, simply too many names, definitions, facts, situations...to remember. gosh! anyway, it's objective so i definitely have an answer for every question =D

aha check out this super nice handmade jewelery blog, Mimpi

can't wait for all my silly test to end!!!!!!!
arg! life is more than test!
get a life la =P

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back home after 6 weeks

oh i'm back home sweet home after 6 weeks in UPM

=D

Being at home is awesome because...
i get to eat a bowl of rice every 2 hours
i can sleep on a bigger bed
i can watch LATTE@8 and badminton finals comfortably
(Latte@8 is on 8TV again =D after disappearing for years =)
i don't have boil my own water
i get to use MSN, finally
i see food is everywhere!
i can cook my food properly
i can use wireless internet without a clock ticking in my mind
(at kolej, i only i have a limited time to use internet)
i can see & talk to my family =D

isn't it cool?

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Be a counseling student and a friend

Is it possible to be a counseling student and a friend to another counseling student?

Impossible is nothing to Him right?
but then, IT IS REALLY HARD!

Counseling student 1 : Hey, you seemed like thinking of something. Do you like to share?

CS 2 : ARG! Can you don't always use your counseling skills on me?!?!?!

*pissed off!*

CS 1 : Er... then what you wanna me to say?

CS 2 : Be a friend?

CS 1 : Oh ok! So, you seemed like thinking of something. Say, say, say. Say now! Tell me now!

CS 2 : -____________-" can't you use your skills bit uh?

See, is it hard?
A dilemma all counseling students have to face =D

to be kepochi friend or to be a friend who has counseling skills?

oh yes, stop guessing i am CS 1 or CS 2 if you are wondering!
don't be a kepochi friend, remember?
hehehehehe... =D

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The Rat

Last week, my lecturer was talking about phobias. He was explaining the different kinds of phobias and the names! Oh how interesting are the names. Then, he casually asked, “Siapa takut ular?” A few students rose up their hand and the next thing I saw was a few snakes wiggling on his hand and the class went…

Oh, I shall not talk about the reaction, just in case I break the confidential etiquette of my class.

Or have I broken it?
Er… not too sure about it. If you who is reading this, is my classmate and you think I have broken it, just let me know ya?
I will delete it off. Don’t need to sue me. My middle is already Sue =D

Oh yes, sesat again.
Back to the story, I was quite fine with snakes plus obviously the lecturer not so brave to take snakes right? (ops, am I underestimating my lecturer?)

After awhile, the lecturer asked, “siapa takut tikus?”
My toes curled up, stomach feel a bit weird and my shoulder shrunk in. From almost slipping off the chair, suddenly, I straighten up!
There, in his hands, was a rubbery soft black rat with utterly geli super long springy tail! After showing off awhile, he started to twist and turn the utterly geli super long springy tail!

OH MY GOODNESS!
Just by looking at it, I felt like yelling out loud.
But of cause, I didn’t. I’m brave, I got image to keep, I’m DWO =P Hahahahah…

It reminds me of my encounter with a big fat rat with utterly geli super long springy tail four years ago.

Four years ago, when I was form four, I attended Accounts tuition class on 7.30am, Sunday.
Yes, you read it correctly. Accounts tuition, 7.30am, SUNDAY!
(Now think of it, I think I was really hardworking! WAS =/ )

One beautiful Sunday, as usual, I woke up 7am with my eyes still could barely open. I dragged myself to the bathroom. While brushing my teeth, the back of my mind, I must be thinking I wish I don’t need to wake up, I wish I was smarter, I wish I didn’t tell my form 3 Kemahiran Hidup(KH) teacher that “there is only four accounts questions in PMR KH paper. So what is the use of studying Account?”, I wish the tuition class is held later, I wish… oh how I wish =D

As I was thinking, I heard a sound of footsteps in the toilet.
It was very quick yet soft little footsteps.

I looked into the mirror carefully.
Nothing.
I though I must be day dreaming. I wasn’t quite awake yet.
After few seconds, I heard it again.
But this time, louder, clearer and quicker.
I looked into the mirror.
Nothing!
I turned my back.
Nothing!
I looked up!
Lo and behold, I saw a super fat rat with utterly geli super long springy tail running super fast around the four walls of the toilet.

I was super stunned, freak out, in unbelief state.
If I’m not mistaken, few weeks before that, I just wrote an English essay about being trap in a room with rats.

Quickly, I jumped up to the water tank. That was the most logical and best solution I could thought of at that moment of time.
The big fat rat with utterly geli super long springy tail was surrounding me in circles!!!!
After I regained my ability to breathe, I quickly ran out of the toilet and latched it. Then, there was I, outside the toilet, yelling out loud for daddy the hero!

Oh crap, what would I do without daddy! =/

So, here’s my story how I started to scare of rats.

Oh yes, I was super traumatize by it!

Don’t you ever try to throw a big fat rat with utterly geli super long springy tail at me! I wouldn’t take, and I wouldn’t have the sporting-ness & strength to laugh even after I realized it’s a prank, and then tears will start to fall like raindrops, and then you will have no way of comfort me, and you will start to feel super duper guilty for traumatizing me the next few days for an exchange of few seconds of my freaking out moment!

There!
I just help you to think and analyze the consequences. =D hehehe…
Am I not a good future counselor? ;)

Okie dokie. Now back to my classroom.
The lecturer seemed to enjoy wiggling the utterly geli super long springy tail. After awhile, he got bored at it. Then, suddenly, someone said, “Dr, ada katak tak?” (hahahaa... so funny! ada Katak tak? hehehee =D ops sorry, shock sendiri again)

And I went OH MY GOODNESS!
If you have not read of my frog story, it’s here or here =)

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the walk

side note: i should be studying since few hours ago but then my blur and sleepy mood is still lingering. no use studying right? what an excuse! =P

**************************************************************************************

In UPM Education faculty, most likely your day began at 8am, if you are a bit luckier then a little bit later.

This semester, Monday to Friday i have classes either start on 8am or 9am!
When i first saw my this semester schedule and observed my holiday sleeping pattern, i knew i'm in big trouble. despite of the 3 weeks camp Cameron that trained me to wake up 7am and stay awake the whole morning, i still find it almost impossible to wake up 7am by my own will.

hence for the past 6 weeks of my uni life, i am either super late for class or panting in class!

everyday, except for Monday, i walk to class.

for monday class, i take the bus since my class is a bit far to walk.
therefore, i have been faithfully late for class! =/

for other days than Monday, i walk to class. it's not that i love to walk but i simply don't have time to wait for the bus! =/
therefore, i have been panting crazily for the 1st 10min in class.

lately, i realized i only need 7 minutes to walk from my hostel to my faculty with my dainty ballet pumps.
rewind to my 1st semester, i needed 15 minutes to walk the same distance with my nike sport shoes.

wohoo... What an achievement!
an achievement to save time
an achievement to save time to sleep more
an achievement to save time to sleep more to give my brain more oxygen
ab achievement to save time to sleep more to give my brain more oxygen to be more alert in class

=)

Everyday, around 7.53am, i would start my journey to my faculty.
without fail, i would see the same people i saw yesterday, same time, same place =)
What an assurance, i'm not alone =D
bad habit dies hard la...

first semester, walking to class was a relaxing and time alone with God in the morning.
i took my own sweet time getting myself ready to face the brand new day =)

however, this semester, walking to class seemed to be like a competition to me.
As the days goes by, i realized i walk faster and faster, and so are the others.
they improved so much that it encourages me to go class later so that i have more motivation and adrenaline rush to walk faster to class -.-''
am i learning the wrong lessons, i wonder?

anyway, now, my calves are firmer than ever =D

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i wish

i have to endure 5 tests this week before i could enjoy the luxury of home =D

*oh ya, Malacca finally have ONE donuts shop - BIG APPLE =D *

anyway, i know i need to study but i hate to study in a hurry.

i like to study and think, think, think think. think how can i use in situations and think whether the Bible say anything about it. but then, if i continue to do this, i'm not going finish studying even one subject!

in like 5 hours, i have test yet i am still not fully prepared.

and here i am, still can read blogs and e-window shop at Fovever21.com
*if you are busy, pls do not click it. flee from temptation =D *
oh i should never start talking about which are the dresses, skirts and bags i like to own!
plus i should never start talking about how the clothes in Forever21.com is so cheap for an American and why can't Malaysia have it!
oh it's time like this i have all the inspiration to do craft and write letters!

how i wish i have more time or should i wish i am more discipline or should i wish i don't need to sleep or should i wish money can drop from the sky or should i wish i have a maid in UPM or should i wish my books are thinner or should i wish i'm a genius or should i wish for a holiday now or...

oh how i wish i could stop thinking of what i wish -_______-''
complicated owl :)

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Will Be Write Back

lately, i have so much to write about but simply don't have time to do it or some i can't write for some reasons.
life have been good. oh no, i mean awesome!!!!!!! =D :)

you know sometimes, how i wish things, people and myself would be different and change.
just wish la, coz it looks and sounds very impossible.
but then, it turned out to be how i wish it would be.
isn't it awesome! really fantastic and bombastic =D

oh i'm comfirm going back Malacca next week.
i have transnational 7pm 15.8.08 bus ticket in my wallet.
yes, i'm seriously going home =D
gosh... i can't believe i actually needed to buy tickets so early to just go back Malacca. hahahaha...

i have like 6 test next week, and i have not studied much =/
and i plan to go for UPM dogathon (check out the website and come! though i never been before, i heard it was fun. i'm really making sure i'm going this year though i'm super busy! =P ), and have meals with cg members, prepare cg materials, go for jog...

gosh... i'm too ambitious eh?
shot! i should start studying NOW.

tata....

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Wait patiently

Wait patiently don't exist in my dictionary YET!

Not yet but soon!

When i was in primary school, my most stressful moments was to wait alone for my aunt/mum to pick me up. i hated it. if aunt/mum didn't come in half an hour, my tears could stop flowing down. i worried that i would be forgotten and nobody remember to pick me up.

When i was in my secondary school, my most stressful moments was to wait to enter the examination hall. my stomach and intestines would get super cranky. i would rush to toilet and worried i would be late for examination. plus, i worry teacher would forgot i was supposed to take the paper.

after graduating from secondary school, waiting for matriculation acceptance letter was my stressful moments. i worry that my application was not filled correctly or my application never arrived in their office. i prayed and cried and prayed and worried. ARG!

oh how i hated to wait.

then when i successfully entered matriculation, i realized God was teaching to wait patiently. from waiting for friends to get dress up to waiting for the unfaithful bus that come sesuka hati to waiting for lecturer to come in kuliah to waiting for a plate of horrible nasi goreng kampung to waiting for countless meeting to start!

oh waiting irked me to the bits.
for i didn't wait patiently. i waited very anxiously.

in matriculation, i learned a lot about waiting patiently and i thought i have grasps it all.

when i came UPM, i felt i was improving well in my waiting patiently skills. i'm ok waiting PATIENTLY for komuter bus for an hour. it's a breakthrough for me. I felt God has taught me through the course of waiting patiently. it was as if i graduated from the course and God was done with me in 'waiting patiently'

then, last friday, i wanted to go back to Melaka but ALL tickets were sold out.

side note: i think the numbers of ppl taking bus have increase tremendously. it very advisable to buy ticket few days earlier. can't have last minute plan already =/

back to the story, i had to wait for my sister sms reply and then, finally wait for her at KL central for about 2 hours. i was okay about it but after 15 minutes, i started shaking my legs and started scribbling. my stomach got cranky again. i started to worry she would forgot to pick me up. Sign of me being very anxious again.

After awhile, something just click and pop in my mind. i realized this is how i treat God also. I wait for God to move anxiously, in a hurry, with thoughts flying through my mind, with worry that He might forgot to speak to me. my quiet time always have been an anxious quiet time -.-''

i was battling with God about it and pouring my heart to Him. Told Him how hard is it for me to wait for i hate waiting. I ask Him could He speak faster to me rather than i have to wait.

then out of a sudden, a question popped in my mind, "are you waiting for Me or am I waiting for you?"

WOW! *hard bang on the head*

that night while i was asleep, in my dream, i heard a clear soft voice said, " I am by your side."

God doesn't just want to give me the breakthrough but to walk with me in the breakthrough.

What a comfort!
I feel very loved by Him last weekend.
Indeed, very loved.

how can i ever stop loving this God? =D

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
Psalm 130:5

oh, i shall wait patiently with hope =D

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