Wait patiently

Wait patiently don't exist in my dictionary YET!

Not yet but soon!

When i was in primary school, my most stressful moments was to wait alone for my aunt/mum to pick me up. i hated it. if aunt/mum didn't come in half an hour, my tears could stop flowing down. i worried that i would be forgotten and nobody remember to pick me up.

When i was in my secondary school, my most stressful moments was to wait to enter the examination hall. my stomach and intestines would get super cranky. i would rush to toilet and worried i would be late for examination. plus, i worry teacher would forgot i was supposed to take the paper.

after graduating from secondary school, waiting for matriculation acceptance letter was my stressful moments. i worry that my application was not filled correctly or my application never arrived in their office. i prayed and cried and prayed and worried. ARG!

oh how i hated to wait.

then when i successfully entered matriculation, i realized God was teaching to wait patiently. from waiting for friends to get dress up to waiting for the unfaithful bus that come sesuka hati to waiting for lecturer to come in kuliah to waiting for a plate of horrible nasi goreng kampung to waiting for countless meeting to start!

oh waiting irked me to the bits.
for i didn't wait patiently. i waited very anxiously.

in matriculation, i learned a lot about waiting patiently and i thought i have grasps it all.

when i came UPM, i felt i was improving well in my waiting patiently skills. i'm ok waiting PATIENTLY for komuter bus for an hour. it's a breakthrough for me. I felt God has taught me through the course of waiting patiently. it was as if i graduated from the course and God was done with me in 'waiting patiently'

then, last friday, i wanted to go back to Melaka but ALL tickets were sold out.

side note: i think the numbers of ppl taking bus have increase tremendously. it very advisable to buy ticket few days earlier. can't have last minute plan already =/

back to the story, i had to wait for my sister sms reply and then, finally wait for her at KL central for about 2 hours. i was okay about it but after 15 minutes, i started shaking my legs and started scribbling. my stomach got cranky again. i started to worry she would forgot to pick me up. Sign of me being very anxious again.

After awhile, something just click and pop in my mind. i realized this is how i treat God also. I wait for God to move anxiously, in a hurry, with thoughts flying through my mind, with worry that He might forgot to speak to me. my quiet time always have been an anxious quiet time -.-''

i was battling with God about it and pouring my heart to Him. Told Him how hard is it for me to wait for i hate waiting. I ask Him could He speak faster to me rather than i have to wait.

then out of a sudden, a question popped in my mind, "are you waiting for Me or am I waiting for you?"

WOW! *hard bang on the head*

that night while i was asleep, in my dream, i heard a clear soft voice said, " I am by your side."

God doesn't just want to give me the breakthrough but to walk with me in the breakthrough.

What a comfort!
I feel very loved by Him last weekend.
Indeed, very loved.

how can i ever stop loving this God? =D

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
Psalm 130:5

oh, i shall wait patiently with hope =D